


Never Have I Ever

by JessJesstheBest



Series: Jessie Actually Finished NaNoWriMo and is Rewarding Herself by Writing 24 Days of Klaine (or Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2017) [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Compliant, Klaine Advent, Klaine Advent 2017, Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2017, M/M, Never Have I Ever, New Directions reunion, in which I - the asexual author - think sex and sexual activities are hilarious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 04:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12927669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessJesstheBest/pseuds/JessJesstheBest
Summary: “Hang on! Hang on!” Quinn speaks up, leaning her elbows on the table. “I’m going to need an example here."Or the gang plays Never Have I Ever and Kurt and Blaine are fucked.





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

> [Klaine Advent](klaineavent.tumblr.com): Day 5 - Example
> 
> Kind of a companion to [this.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8825197)

It wouldn’t be a gathering of New Directions alumni without some kind of juvenile party game.

“Never have I ever… eaten ass.”

Most everyone in the room booed at Rachel as they took a sip from their drinks, including Rachel’s husband Jesse St. James.

“Rachel, I’m surprised at you.” Kurt gasped, dramatically. “You’ll let him eat your ass and you won’t eat his ass back? Selfish.”

“Not Rachel, actually.” Jesse said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I had a friends-with-benefits thing for a while with this guy at UCLA.” At the surprised looks, Jesse snorted. “Oh, come on. If there’s anyone in this room who can claim to be a gold-star straight, I’ll buy the next round.”

Mercedes laughed before finishing her drink and pushing the empty glass towards Jesse. “Go on then, white boy. Top us all off.”

Jesse gaped before looking at Rachel for confirmation. When Rachel nodded he sighed, standing up. “Well fuck me then, alright.” And he headed to the bar to get them drinks.

The bar wasn’t busy so the owner let them push a bunch of tables together, letting all fifteen of them sit comfortably and play their game without having to yell. There was also probably the fact that four Broadway faces were in attendance, along with pop diva extraordinaire Mercedes Jones. They’d all promised to tweet out good publicity for the bar but Kurt was definitely also going to be sure to leave a 200% tip by the end of the night, anyway. Lord knows this bartender didn’t know what he was getting into by letting them all in.

Jesse got back with the drinks and hands automatically came forward to grab the drink that belonged to them. Kurt was being smart and sticking to beer, knowing he’d be drinking more often than not in this game. Blaine had not been as smart and gotten a mixed drink, seemingly shocked that he had to drunk just as often as Kurt. Rory was the only one of them who probably could have gotten away with ordering liquor, he drank so infrequently. But his tolerance was so shit that he’d barely finished one drink and was just as drunk as Blaine anyway.

“My turn,” Tina said around her straw. She had a vodka soda. At least she was drinking something with bubbles – that was smart. “Uuuuuhhh,” She blew out a breath, displacing her bangs. “Um, never have I ever… 69’ed?”

Blaine groaned, taking another moderate sip of his drink while Kurt smirked around his bottle. Brittany and Santana also drank and everyone heckled and catcalled. Blaine looked very put out so Kurt threw his arm around him. It was, after all, Kurt’s fault that Blaine had had to drink so much.

“Alright, alright,” Santana flapped her hands to get everyone settled down. She seemed the most sober, next to Kurt. “My turn. I’ve been holding on to this one: never have I ever had a sex talk with Burt Hummel.”

Kurt rolled his eyes as he and Blaine took another drink, Blaine curling into Kurt’s side and mumbling about their friends picking on them. But to his, and it seemed Santana’s surprise, Rachel, Sam, Artie, and even Mike Chang all took a drink.

“Okay,” Mercedes said, leaning on the table. “Rachel I get because Finn. Sam, okay because they lived together. But Mike?”

Mike shrugged, embarrassed, picking at the label of his beer. “Remember senior year when my Dad wasn’t really talking to me?” They all nodded. “Mr. Hummel caught me freaking out outside the school one day when I started thinking about leaving Tina to go to school and what if we broke up and what if I wasn’t sexually compatable with anyone else and he just… he’s got good dad vibes, you know?”

Nothing else needed to be said: they all nodded sagely.

Santana still look thunderstruck. “Well, okay.”

“My turn!” Brittany said, pulling Santana back. She then took one of Kurt’s empty beer bottles that was still on the table and turned it on its side, spinning it.

“No, Brit, that’s not–” Kurt started and then the bottle landed on him.

“Oh, okay.” She perked up, smiling. “Never have I ever gotten a blowjob during a live, professional, theatrical performance.”

Kurt froze and he could feel Blaine next to him going red. All of their friends looked a little taken aback by the specificity of the statement and her unwavering look at Kurt. They were all looking as Kurt slowly – slowly – brought his bottle to his lips and took a drink.

_ Immediate _ uproar.

“Kurt, how could you?” From Rachel.

“Okay, Hummel, okay…” From Jesse.

“How would that even work?” From Sam.

“Bow chica ow wow.” From Artie.

A lot of pelvic thrusts from Santana and Tina.

Mercedes just clutched a hand to her chest.

Brittany stares vacantly on.

“Hang on! Hang on!” Quinn spoke up, leaning her elbows on the table. “I’m going to need an example here. Sam’s right: how would that even work?”

Kurt looked at Blaine, asking silently if he should share. Blaine was drunk and may not have otherwise agreed but he just sighed, burying his face in Kurt’s neck, nodding.

Kurt kissed the top of his head before turning to the rest of the group, letting loose with a sigh himself. “That one small-theater  _ Spring Awakening,  _ remember?”

“I love that show,” Rachel and Jesse said together.

Kurt rolled his eyes at them. “I played Hänschen and he has that one masturbation seen during “My Junk.” It was staged in a way where my bottom half was like… under a table? It looked like I was in a bed, but I was fully, like, sitting at a table.... A table that Blaine could easily hide under during that scene.”

The table exploded again in laughter. Kurt could feel the heat of Blaine’s face against his neck. He rubbed his arm.

“Okay, moving on. I think it’s Sugar’s turn?”

The game moved on. Kurt and Blaine continued to have to drink for basically every round. It got back to Brittany and the bottle landed on Blaine.

She smiled her vacant smile again. “Never have I ever got so turned on I passed out when my boyfriend picked me up and pinned me to a wall.”

Kurt dropped his head on the table while Blaine screamed “HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS?!” before taking a drink.

**Author's Note:**

> [rebloggable version](http://saywhatjessie.tumblr.com/post/168239403420/never-have-i-ever)


End file.
